Ten Online Personalities You Can Spot a Mile Away

Sometimes we take ourselves way too seriously when we’re posting on social media. I’m just as guilty of this as anyone else, so just for fun, I thought I would step back and take a humorous look at the personalities we unintentionally project when we post… If you see yourself in any of these, don’t take it personally. I’ll tell you which ones I see myself in after I’ve finished describing them:

The Poser – Posers only post things that show how awesome their lives are, which gives the impression that they have it all together. My favorite posers are the ones who only post three times a year—when they get a promotion, go on vacation, and celebrate their anniversary with their amazing spouse. 

The Wet Blanket – Wet blankets always focus on the negative. They falsely assume friends enjoy reading how bad their lives are. Surprised that they don’t have more followers, they wonder why only a few respond to their Debbie Downer attitude. 

The Shock Jock – Shock Jocks love to use cussing, controversy, and outrageous takes on things to push the boundaries of polite society. These agitators enjoy messing with people and regularly end up saying, “If you don’t like it, don’t follow me.” 

The Me-Monster – Me-Monsters flood feeds with endless streams of selfies, continually adding to their dozens of photos taken in front of the bathroom mirror or from the driver’s seat of their car. My favorite is the Me-Monster who uses the same pose in the same outfit on a different day. 

The Xerox – Xeroxes forward almost everything they come across, usually adding a helpful comment, such as, “Must read,” “This,” “Love it,” or “Hilarious.” 

The Platform Builder – Platform Builders use social media to gather followers so they can peddle something else. Blessed are you if you have no idea what platform building is, even though you have probably been sucked into a platform builder’s bait-and-switch without even knowing it.

The Clown – Clowns want to make us laugh, even if that means making us cringe first. I like to laugh, so this personality is one of my favorites, even if I do roll my eyes sometimes. 

The Alarmist – Alarmists believe more than their fair share of conspiracy theories, and they want to be sure everyone else does as well. Seeing hidden agendas everywhere, they pity those of us who don’t. Unfortunately, they’ve cried wolf so many times that we’ve become deaf to them. 

The Vacuum – Vacuums are so desperate for affirmation that they post cryptic messages or incomplete information, hoping someone will ask the obvious. If you see a post like, “Here we go again” or “I’m so done,” you’ve encountered a vacuum looking for some form of validation. 

The Pompous Jerk – Pompous jerks want to appear smarter than everyone else on virtually every subject. They lecture, talk down to people, and generally flaunt their superiority every chance they get. If you’re on the ball, you’re probably thinking I’m a pompous jerk for stereotyping and categorizing people into ten online personality types…and you’re probably right…

So, besides the Pompous Jerk, which ones am I? I’m also a Platform Builder and a Poser.  What about you? Which online personalities do you identify with, and are there any I missed?